Summer is at a close folks. It's bittersweet because we've traveled alot this summer (alot for our norm), and I've really enjoyed having the kids at home and doing all sorts of activities we normally don't do during the school year. Basically spoil them. And quite frankly, within the last 2-3 weeks, Mia has started to use her imaginative play which is amazing because I get some down time where she's not crawling all over me. At the same time, it'll be really nice to go to the grocery store without dragging two toddlers with me!
Last night we had the Change of Command dinner at the Corpus Christi Yacht Club. It was fun to get dressed up again. Although sometimes, gym clothes is as dressed up as I want to be. haha.
Notice the shoes that I will be bringing to Australia with me as my bridesmaid shoes. Ahhh! less than 5 months till we go! Another adventure begins! But first we must get to the bottom of the title of this post.
I think; personality depending of course; when you are a military wife and you follow your husband where ever they are called to be, you loose a part of yourself. Firstly, because you have no say in the matter and secondly, you find a job that is pretty much not going to be in your field of study; if you even get a job before you next move. You do what you have to do to get by. Then a few years later, you add in a couple kids and your full time job is a SAHM. Yay, I got a job that I want and I'm the BOSS! What a deal! It is a good deal mind you, to be able to be at home and watch them grow, develop and blossom into these mini-yous. It's mind blowing at times, when you get the chance to think about it amidst the loads of laundry, the toys scattered everywhere, STILL cleaning up pee-pee mistakes, cooking, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning etc. I wouldn't change a thing and it's that stage in my life though that I have to accept that I have to put myself aside. And that's just me personally because I can't focus unless the environment is perfect. I can't bake, paint and do the things I love unless I am completely focused, inspired, uninterrupted. I've felt I've lost ME that last couple of years because quite honestly, I don't have the time to do what I love. And when I DO have time, it's 8pm and all I really want to do is sit on my butt and zone out on my shows. It dawned on me today as I was preparing myself to make cinnamon rolls for my friends birthday at church tomorrow, that why I've been SO unsuccessful as of late with baking is because this amazing gift of baking that God has given me, I was going about it all wrong. See, when you do for everyone else and nothing for yourself most days, you get a little greedy with wanting praise for what you DO do when you DO have the time. That's my ultimate mistake. I WANT the praise when really God is the one that gave me this gift and I need to thank Him for this ability. To bake not because I want the credit, but because through it, He gives me the joy, the me that I am looking for. So simple, yet it took me 4 years to realize this. And with this thinking in mind, my cinnamon roll dough turned out beautiful. All thanks to Him. :-)
I can see how all those sacrifices can mean that you loose a lot of yourself. How lucky Brandon and the kids are! Don't worry Val, you will gain a bit of yourself back year by year when the kids are more independent. Funny you should write about this because as of late, I would love to swap places with you and have a family of my own and have the luxury of staying at home to nurture them. I guess that is what makes us strive, for better. You know the importance of self (the non cleaning, non rules self) and I am now willing to sacrifice my independence to be depended on!
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